Pride is around the corner, but not everyone who identifies as LGBTQ+ feels included in the community.
Despite bisexual people making up the largest portion of LGBTQ+ adults in the US, they are often questioned, excluded, or disregarded by their peers and families. Unfortunately, this stigma causes them to have poorer mental and physical health outcomes.
Sat at my desk during the pandemic, I wanted to publish a book that dispelled these negative myths surrounding bisexuality. A topic close to my heart, I wanted to illuminate these invisible stories, raise the voices of resistance and resilience, and edit often erased experiences of joy. I wanted to share, well, pride.
I reached out to my online community to find the author for this dream book. Lisa Speidel, Associate Professor in the Women, Gender and Sexuality Department at the University of Virginia and AASECT certified sexuality educator, got in touch. The rest is history, and now Bisexuality Beyond Binaries: Celebrating Multiple Bisexual Identities in a World of Erasure is in our hands.
This amazing text brings together a collection of diverse contributors to discuss bisexual erasure and biphobia and how this intersects with racism, sexism, ableism, and transphobia. It amplifies these voices so that readers can celebrate diverse realities.
I spoke with Lisa about the book and why it is so important for all of us, bisexual or not, to read.
Why did you write your book, Bisexuality Beyond Binaries: Celebrating Multiple Bisexual Identities in a World of Erasure?
Three things motivated the creation of this book, first being you, Heather! While you were still my editor at Routledge you had put a call out looking for someone to write about bisexuality.
Second, many of my students were writing about being bisexual and revealed multiple challenges and isolation. I was surprised at the number of students writing about this and really wanted to learn more.
And third, my own bisexuality. Producing this book was life changing as I discovered more of my own truth.
Why was it important to you to bring different voices to this text?
Even though the acronym LGBTQ+ is commonplace in social media, academics, and our cultural discourse, the “B” is regularly misrepresented, misunderstood, or simply not included. It is estimated that bisexual identities total over 52% of the LGB community, however, they are labelled “the invisible majority” due to bisexual erasure, biphobia, and monosexism. Bisexual people are regularly told they must be confused, are going through a phase, are transphobic and problematic for “perpetuating the gender binary,” or are using the label “bisexual” as a steppingstone to coming out as gay. Their sexual identity is commonly stereotyped as unreal, greedy, experimenting, having difficulty with monogamy, hypersexual, or extremely promiscuous. The legitimacy of this identity is frequently questioned or denied outright by both straight and queer people alike, which is often described as a “double discrimination” or a “double closet” that causes many to hide their bisexuality. When other marginalized identities intersect, they are even more silenced. The aim of this book is to expand the discourse about bisexuality and to amplify the voices that are traditionally not heard.
The book discusses what bisexual erasure and biphobia is, and ‘how this intersects with racism, sexism, ableism and transphobia’. In your own words, what does this mean, and why is it crucial that we talk about this?
What research does exist often fails to capture the nuance of bisexuality by focusing mostly on white, cisgender, young, able-bodied people, particularly cisgender women.
Bisexual people are not a monolithic group but rather full of multiple intersecting identities beyond the typical dominant culture representation. Research shows that there are multiple ways bi-erasure, biphobia, and monosexism cause harm, including higher rates of mental distress, suicide, and sexual and relationship violence, not feeling a part of either straight or queer communities, and discrimination in the workplace. The experience of bi-erasure, biphobia, and monosexism can be impacted by other forms of oppression and intersectionality—a theory of oppression and framework created and expanded on by Black feminisms in the United States—is essential. Given these multiple layers of marginalization, these voices are acknowledged and heard even less. I felt an intersectional approach was imperative to truly understand these realities and wanted to combine both my own research and the personal narratives of bisexual people that are rarely incorporated into the discourse, particularly gender diverse identities, older people, people of color, and people with disabilities.
What myths does the book dispel about bisexuality?
Hopefully it dispels all of the myths, especially the ones I listed above! There are just so many stereotypes, so much misinformation that is completely normalized in our society.
I really wanted the readers to recognize and understand that bisexual people are not confused, or just in a phase. That people really can be attracted to more than one gender. I love Robyn Och’s definition of bisexuality: “the potential to be attracted romantically and/ or sexually to people of more than one gender, not necessarily simultaneously, in the same way or to the same degree.” The word potential is so powerful, because bisexual people are often asked how they know they are bisexual if they have not had sex with another gender identity other than the one they are “supposed” to be with. I often ask my students, when they were in 5th grade and had a crush on another kid, how did they know they were actually attracted to that person since they hadn’t started having sex yet? We don’t ask that of heterosexual, monosexual people! No one should be put in the position of having to defend, justify, or explain their bisexual identity. Sadly, we are not quite there yet.
I think another important myth to dispel is that being bisexual automatically makes someone transphobic by perpetuating the gender binary. Robyn Och’s definition is really about attraction to more than one gender, not specifically the binary of male and female. Also, we need to understand that transgender people can also be bisexual, and we are totally erasing this reality when we go right to the belief that bisexuality is inherently transphobic.
The book celebrates ‘the joy of bisexuality’. In your own words, what is bisexual joy? Why should we focus on this?
It is imperative to address the harm caused by biphobia, bi-erasure, and monosexism, as much of this book does, but it is equally important to discuss the joy and resilience of bisexual people. We often do not hear about the positivity of the bisexual experience; neither is there much research done about this. A key component of systemic oppressions like bi-erasure, biphobia, and monosexism is not only the invalidation and rejection described earlier but also the denial of the joy and pleasure bisexuality can bring. Positive feelings about oneself are empowering and threaten dominant power structures that perpetuate subjugation and the harmful impact of oppression. Not everyone can feel joy given the hardships of experiencing oppression and it is important not to promote toxic positivity if some just are not feeling it; however, those who are able to celebrate their bisexuality and share their sense of joy create a space for others to see there can be another path that may not always have to be as full of struggle. Joy is also a form of resistance, a concept I pull from adrienne marie brown’s work in pleasure activism. Brown emphasizes that working towards reclaiming joy and pleasure helps to challenge the impact and limitations but also brings about social change.
What advice do you have for therapists working with bisexual clients, or curious individuals who may be questioning their queer identity?
Multiple barriers can exist to accessing mental health care for bisexual people, including biphobic and monosexist attitudes of mental health care providers. This creates potentially harmful interactions, invalidation, and microaggressions in therapeutic scenarios that limit the benefit of mental health care. Many bisexual people experience negative reactions from therapists such as being told their identity is just a phase, not a valid orientation and that they need to decide whether they are gay or straight. Bisexuality is often treated as a symptom or the cause of mental health issues, without an analysis of how social oppression against them can be a main factor. Bisexuality is often pathologized, which can happen even in supposedly LGBTQ+ friendly spaces. I would advise training that works to help therapists avoid assumptions about someone’s sexual behavior based on their bisexual identity. These can make bisexual patients feel unseen and uncomfortable and therefore less likely to be honest about their needs. More therapists need to become more bi-competent, and there are bisexual organizations and multiple resources available to work on this. It means being able to self-reflect about their own biases which I know takes time, but I would encourage people to really question what misinformation they may have about bisexuality.
For those who are curious or questioning their own queer identities, know that you are not alone. Being attracted to more than one gender is real, it is valid! It is hard to find community, especially when biphobia may exist in queer spaces, but keep looking! There are so many resources online too, like the Bisexual Resource Center. I would hope that reading my book can also be a resource, to find comfort in the personal narratives and the courage to keep finding other bisexual people who are most definitely out there!
If you found the information in this article helpful, you can see more of her work on her website or on her Instagram.
Interested in her work? You can read Lisa’s books Bisexuality Beyond Binaries: Celebrating Multiple Bisexual Identities in a World of Erasure (2025) and The Edge of Sex: Navigating a Sexually Confusing Culture from the Margins (2020) now!
About Lisa
Lisa Speidel, Ph.D., CSE, is an associate professor in the Women, Gender and Sexuality Department at the University of Virginia. She is also a Certified Sexuality Educator (CSE) through the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT). Lisa teaches Human Sexualities, Pleasure Activism, Men and Masculinities, and Gender Violence and Social Justice among other classes. She has worked locally and nationally as an educator for over 30 years, with a focus on the examination of joyful sexuality, masculinity, violence, and the intersection of systemic oppressions. She has also been teaching women’s self-defense for over 30 years in the Charlottesville, Virginia community and at the University of Virginia. She is the author of Bisexuality Beyond Binaries: Celebrating Multiple Bisexual Identities in a World of Erasure (2025) and co-author of The Edge of Sex: Navigating a Sexually Confusing Culture from the Margins.
Hi, I’m Heather – an award-winning book editor and content writer specialising in mental and sexual health. If you enjoyed this post, you can support this series by contributing to a coffee, or hiring me for my blog writing or editing services:
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